This is a brief guide to East Flatlia for visitors.
| Highest point | 0.22 metres. |
| Climate | Windy, lots of sky; significant daily air movement; rainfall high during weekends and holidays. High winds. Often blustery. The skies are nice. |
| Language | Proto-nerdic English. The local dictionary has no words to mean slope or mountain, and contains additional words such as kerflosslication meaning the process by which frozen sliced carrots go squishy when boiled in chicken soup; and wuurgh whose meaning is uncertain but used by larger duvets early on Sunday mornings. |
| Population | 42,103.7, all strange. |
| Political | Local government is primarily chesocratic. Elections are frequently held and regularly disregarded. Main governing departments are Planning (20%), Transportation (20%) and Food disposal (60%). |
| Transportation | The Flatland Washes Railway. A light railway whose primary role is ferrying cheese ore from the mining area of Bider Fens, and back again. In fact, the Flatland railway comprises three separate railway networks, incompatible, and mainly going nowhere useful – a design closely related to that employed by British Railways |
| Diet | The general population has tendencies toward vegetarianism. Cheese-on-toast in the English style (smaller, square) or the Italian style (larger, circular) is consumed regularly. Staple foods include Hobnobs, Pringles and lemon yumyums. |
| Military capacity | A variety of armed forces are kept in barracks at all times, Roman legions, Egyptians, Carthaginians, Vikings, Men of Rohan, Dark Elves, Space Marines, fleets of horribly be-weaponed star cruisers and a penguin with a light sabre. The entire population has trained in either karate or mo-li. |
| Religion | Pacifist |